It all started last week.

Last week during activation, the team had us ask the lord what we need to repent from, in my time with the Lord he gave me a vision of a house that was mine. I now realize the house is my self, it’s my body, my temple. In the house I had something in a cage.The cage with the thing inside it moved to the side of the house near a window so I knew the wall led outside. The wall opened up and let out what was inside. The lord told me that I had yet to let the wall come down and let out what was in the cage. This is what I needed to repent from.

I didn’t know what was inside the cage that I needed to let out at the time, but just now (5 mins ago) we were having prayer time in activation to be prayed over for basically baptism of the Holy Spirit. When they opened the space up the Lord told me like 3 times GO GO GO. And before that he actually told me “you’re about to get wrecked.”

The reason I thought I was going was to share my recent thoughts about my prayer language in the last week.
This past week prayer language has been on my mind and it’s mostly fear bc I don’t think it’s very talked about on the race.
Anyway. I thought I’d just ask for prayer for more confidence. Funny

I go up to one of the staff and tell her that I would like prayer for deeper use in prayer language from the Spirit because I’ve lacked confidence. She took a minute to ask the Lord what to say and pray. She then started to share a vision. She saw that I am like a spinning top that the Lord has wound up but I sometimes feel like no one is the same as me and I get discouraged. She mentioned something about how I am a passionate person, but I don’t always see other as passionate as me. She mentioned that I am excited about the kingdom and I feel like sometimes my excitement isn’t matched and how that discourages me. All of these were true. A side note - just because I don’t see or perceive others around me as passionate and excited, doesn’t mean they aren’t. They are. She then looks up at me and says “can you actually repent from that right now?”

I had been really struggling with feeling like I have more passion than others around me. It made me very discouraged and I actually began to suppress my passions and excitement.

Let’s tie it back to the vision I mentioned. I didn’t know I was actually suppressing the gift that God gave me that I actually love, but He loves so much more. The vision was this. I had my passion and zeal in a cage and the Lord is asking me to let it out for the people around me to see.

I said “God I’m sorry that I’ve held people to my standard.” And the Spirit moved. I began to cry as I realized that I have been hiding this amazing gift the Lord has given me from other people. Not only had I been hiding this gift from others, but myself. Not only myself, but from God.

She asked me to tell the Lord to use me. I said “Lord thank you for giving me this passion... You can use it.” And I felt the presence of the Almighty so strong.

Some time passed and I was outside sitting on a chair alone in the sunlight. I’m wearing and talking to God when I remembered he told me before I stood up for prayer before all of this, “you’re gonna get wrecked.” I started laughing so hard Bc God is so funny. He took his time with this one, but he put so many steps that needed to be there for me to realize what to repent from.

I will not apologize for operating in the passion that God has given me as a gift. I will not hold others around me to my standard of passion and zeal.